What is Eros?
Eros is about process and comfort and heart connection.
Eros can be you deciding to go celibate for awhile to decide what it is you really want to experience in sex.
Eros is having the courage to stand by that and "become it" enough to attract a similar person into your life (like attracts like) and then learn how to communicate it to that person with honesty and kindness.
Eros is really listening to your feelings and your body and getting the courage to be honest with yourself and another.
Eros is about is about taking yourself seriously.
Eros is about taking someone else seriously.
Eros is about mutual vulnerability and mutual empowerment.
Eros is about cooperation and collaboration for the best comfort and pleasure of both of you.
HERE IS EROS: http://www.onetaste.us/index.php
Where the Road Can Take You if You're Not Saavy and Discerning
Jack and Marie is: Me and You... People out there just trying to 'do it right'... as Jack so beautifully puts it: "So we can perform on camera 'correctly'."
In Michael Castleman's article on "The Real Problem with Pornography is it's Bad for Sex" illustrates a couple who was expressing Eros and how pornographers "directed and produced" them into Pornos or Pornography.
Excerpt:
The stark contrast between the lives Marie and Jack live on and off camera extends to their lovemaking. They had to learn pornography-style sex, as they relate in Marie and Jack: A Love Story.
“Sex on camera is very raw... It's wild... and can be exciting. But it’s not satisfying. It’s not the same as our personal sex. Jack and I have a deep emotional connection. For sex to feel satisfying, I need emotional fulfillment.”
Pornographic sex is so different from the way Marie and Jack like to make love that at the start of their video careers, they had to schedule rehearsal sessions. “We needed to practice having sex [the way the directors wanted],” Jack explains, “so we could perform correctly on camera.”
Directors wanted Marie to talk dirty. “I’d never done that before. I didn’t know how.... Jack coached me. He’d tell me, ‘Say ... Say it louder.’ Directors wanted Marie to use .... She’d never done anything..., but learned how for work.
Directors insisted that Marie and Jack dispense with tenderness, sensuality, and mutual massage, and play up raw, pounding, hardcore action. That felt bizarre, Marie explains, because their lovemaking with one another had always been “tender, playful, and intimate.” And directors wanted them to have intercourse in positions that would challenge a contortionist.
As they became more involved with making porn, Marie and Jack found themselves slipping into porn-style sex at home. “We’d do a movie” Jack recalls, “then the next day, have personal sex. I’d find myself holding her leg up or doing some of the weird things you see in porn. Or she would say, ‘Harder!’ or ‘Oh, yeah!’ Then we’d stop and say, ‘Wait. We’re not machines. Let’s just make love.”
Marie and Jack quickly learned to separate “work sex” from “personal sex.” At home, they rarely do anything anal, don’t talk dirty, and don’t use sex toys. They enjoy mutual, sensual, whole-body massage, tender caresses, with lots of eye contact. “If we were making love,” Jack says, “and all of a sudden, I pulled out and said, ‘Baby, I want to come all over your face,’Marie would say, ‘Are you kidding? You can’t be serious.’”
Search: Michael Castleman + Porn
-http://makelovenotporn.com/porn_bad_for_sex_michael_castleman.pdf
Sometimes, we need to get clear about what something is NOT first:
MAKE LOVE NOT PORN
"Looking for Eros in our culture is like looking for a needle in a haystack." Phoenix
REALITY OF PORN
From study on mainstream pornography, "A Comparison of Male & Female Directors in Popular Pornography" &/or "The Price of Pleasure."
- 89.8% of the scenes included either verbal or physical aggression.
- 48% contained verbal aggression, mostly name-calling & insults.
- 82.2% contained physical aggression.
- 94.4% of the aggressive acts were targeted at women.
- 70% of pornography's audience is straight males watching alone.
- Pornography is involved in about 70% of sexual abuse cases.
- Watching pornography may lead to one partner wanting to recreate the on-screen actions & perhaps even film them.
- The content in pornography is getting harsher & harsher.
- Joe Gallant, of Black Mirror productions, admits that he thinks the future of American porn is violence.
- Torture-like scenes are already produced.
(Example: Kink.com.) Authors: Chyng Sun, Ana Bridges, Robert Wosnitzer, Erica Scharrer, Rachael Lieberman. ( Psychology of Women Quarterly, Vol 32, #3, Sept 2008) http://tinyurl.com/ll3gkb Read full study at:http://tinyurl.com/lnz6j5 VIDEO presentation of study results, presented by the authors: http://myspace.com/stopporn... See "Mapping the Pornographic Text: Content Analysis Research of Popular Pornography."TEXT SUMMARY of video presentation w. more stats from study is at NoPornNorthampton.org. See "Video Presentation: A Content Analysis of 50 of Today's Top Selling Porn Films." http://3.ly/uQD
From study on mainstream pornography, "A Comparison of Male & Female Directors in Popular Pornography" &/or "The Price of Pleasure."
- 89.8% of the scenes included either verbal or physical aggression.
- 48% contained verbal aggression, mostly name-calling & insults.
- 82.2% contained physical aggression.
- 94.4% of the aggressive acts were targeted at women.
- 70% of pornography's audience is straight males watching alone.
- Pornography is involved in about 70% of sexual abuse cases.
- Watching pornography may lead to one partner wanting to recreate the on-screen actions & perhaps even film them.
- The content in pornography is getting harsher & harsher.
- Joe Gallant, of Black Mirror productions, admits that he thinks the future of American porn is violence.
- Torture-like scenes are already produced.
(Example: Kink.com.) Authors: Chyng Sun, Ana Bridges, Robert Wosnitzer, Erica Scharrer, Rachael Lieberman. ( Psychology of Women Quarterly, Vol 32, #3, Sept 2008) http://tinyurl.com/ll3gkb Read full study at:http://tinyurl.com/lnz6j5 VIDEO presentation of study results, presented by the authors: http://myspace.com/stopporn... See "Mapping the Pornographic Text: Content Analysis Research of Popular Pornography."TEXT SUMMARY of video presentation w. more stats from study is at NoPornNorthampton.org. See "Video Presentation: A Content Analysis of 50 of Today's Top Selling Porn Films." http://3.ly/uQD
What is Eros?
The love and sexuality scene in the movie "An Officer and a Gentleman" between Debra Winger and Richard Gere comes to mind. There was eye to eye contact, tenderness, passion, connection between hearts as well as bodies.
In Michael Castleman's article on "The Real Problem with Pornography is it's Bad for Sex" illustrates graphically and clearly a couple who was expressing Eros and how pornographers "directed and produced" them into Pornos.
The love and sexuality scene in the movie "An Officer and a Gentleman" between Debra Winger and Richard Gere comes to mind. There was eye to eye contact, tenderness, passion, connection between hearts as well as bodies.
In Michael Castleman's article on "The Real Problem with Pornography is it's Bad for Sex" illustrates graphically and clearly a couple who was expressing Eros and how pornographers "directed and produced" them into Pornos.
Here's a little piece of eros for ya.
So if You're Lucky Enough to Have Experienced the Difference...
Go out there - create it yourself!
Find examples of it and disseminate them!